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03-01-2007 PDF Print E-mail
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Wednesday, 09 August 2006

Newsletter for March 1, 2007

A cheerful heart is good medicine.
Proverbs 17:22

Current News Humor 

Lent Anecdotes


 

 

 

 

 

     

NEW AT FUNNYSERMONS.COM.  WE ARE OFFERING ILLUSTRATIONS AND QUOTATIONS OF THE NON-HUMOROUS TYPE (HYPERLINKED IN RED) FOR REGISTERED MEMBERS.

One laugh of a child will make the holiest day more sacred still.
-- Robert G. Ingersoll

Lectionary Passages for March 11th, 2007 
Third Sunday During Lent, Year C
 

 

 

Isaiah 55:1-9   theme:  good ; free
theme one-liner:  good ; free

 

 

Isaiah 55

Invitation to the Lord’s Salvation
 1 “Is anyone thirsty?
      Come and drink
      even if you have no money !
   Come, take your choice of wine or milk—
      it’s all free!
 2 Why spend your money on food that does not give you strength?
      Why pay for food that does you no good?
   Listen to me, and you will eat what is good.
      You will enjoy the finest food.

 3 “Come to me with your ears wide open.
      Listen, and you will find life.
   I will make an everlasting covenant with you.
      I will give you all the unfailing love I promised to David.
 4 See how I used him to display my power among the peoples.
      I made him a leader among the nations.
 5 You also will command nations you do not know,
      and peoples unknown to you will come running to obey ,
   because I, the Lord your God,
      the Holy One of Israel, have made you glorious.”

 6 Seek the Lord while you can find him.
      Call on him now while he is near.
 7 Let the wicked change their ways
      and banish the very thought of doing wrong.
   Let them turn to the Lord that he may have mercy on them.
      Yes, turn to our God, for he will forgive generously.

 8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.
      “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
 9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
      so my ways are higher than your ways
      and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

 

 

 
Psalm 63:1-8   theme:  water
theme one-liner:  want ; water

 

   

Psalm 63

A psalm of David, regarding a time when David was in the wilderness of Judah.
 1 O God, you are my God ;
      I earnestly search for you.
   My soul thirsts for you;
      my whole body longs for you
   in this parched and weary land
      where there is no water.
 2 I have seen you in your sanctuary
      and gazed upon your power and glory.
 3 Your unfailing love is better than life itself;
      how I praise you!
 4 I will praise you as long as I live,
      lifting up my hands to you in prayer.
 5 You satisfy me more than the richest feast.
      I will praise you with songs of joy.

 6 I lie awake thinking of you,
      meditating on you through the night.
 7 Because you are my helper,
      I sing for joy in the shadow of your wings.
 8 I cling to you;
      your strong right hand holds me securely .

 

 

 
Luke 13:1-9   theme:  fruit ; farmer
theme one-liner:  fruit ; gardener

 

 

 

Luke 13

A Call to Repentance
 1 About this time Jesus was informed that Pilate had murdered some people from Galilee as they were offering sacrifices at the Temple. 2 “Do you think those Galileans were worse sinners than all the other people from Galilee?” Jesus asked. “Is that why they suffered? 3 Not at all! And you will perish, too, unless you repent of your sins and turn to God. 4 And what about the eighteen people who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them? Were they the worst sinners in Jerusalem? 5 No, and I tell you again that unless you repent, you will perish, too.”
Parable of the Barren Fig Tree
 6 Then Jesus told this story: “A man planted a fig tree in his garden and came again and again to see if there was any fruit on it, but he was always disappointed. 7 Finally, he said to his gardener, ‘I’ve waited three years, and there hasn’t been a single fig! Cut it down. It’s just taking up space in the garden.’

 8 “The gardener answered, ‘Sir, give it one more chance . Leave it another year, and I’ll give it special attention and plenty of fertilizer. 9 If we get figs next year, fine. If not, then you can cut it down.’”

 

 

 
1 Corinthians 10:1-13   theme:  care for ; choice ; choice
theme one-liner:  choice

   

 

1 Corinthians 10

Lessons from Israel’s Idolatry
 1 I don’t want you to forget, dear brothers and sisters, about our ancestors in the wilderness long ago. All of them were guided by a cloud that moved ahead of them, and all of them walked through the sea on dry ground. 2 In the cloud and in the sea, all of them were baptized as followers of Moses. 3 All of them ate the same spiritual food, 4 and all of them drank the same spiritual water. For they drank from the spiritual rock that traveled with them, and that rock was Christ. 5 Yet God was not pleased with most of them, and their bodies were scattered in the wilderness.

 6 These things happened as a warning to us, so that we would not crave evil things as they did, 7 or worship idols as some of them did. As the Scriptures say, “The people celebrated with feasting and drinking, and they indulged in pagan revelry."  8 And we must not engage in sexual immorality as some of them did, causing 23,000 of them to die in one day.

 9 Nor should we put Christ to the test, as some of them did and then died from snakebites. 10 And don’t grumble as some of them did, and then were destroyed by the angel of death. 11 These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who live at the end of the age.

 12 If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. 13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful . He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.



 

 


Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.


 


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


 

 

 

 

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