Expense:
The Justice Department recently showed their record of spending $225,000 to hire excavators to replace a Michigan barn last summer in an unsuccessful search for Jimmy Hoffa's remains. He hasn't been seen in over 30 years... maybe it is time to call off the search.

Intentions:
A family in Blackpool, England, had the ashes of their recently deceased father compressed into a synthetic diamonds so that he could attend his daughter's wedding. I know a lot of fathers say they were crushed losing their little girl, but this guy really meant it.

Do-Nothing:
France will not ban skinny models from Paris catwalks but will introduce a voluntary charter to make the fashion industry more aware of the health risks of being too thin... which means about as much as all these non-binding resolutions that we're passing over here.

Fight:
A Greek tavern owner recently had both ears bitten off as he tried to break up a bar fight between customers watching a Greece-Turkey soccer match. It is sad but too many people are more passionate about their sports than their religion.

Costs:
A new US citizen from Turkey, now managing his first gas station in New York, is recovering from an incident of fuel price sticker shock. A customer refused to pay and sped off with the manager dangling from the door. Welcome to America. This is nothing...just wait till gas reaches $4 dollars a gallon.

Insult:
A Swiss man had been sentenced to 10 years in a prison in Thailand for insulting that country's king by vandalizing his portrait. We have the same thing here, but it is done through Homeland Security.

Negotiation:
The 15 British solders have been released by Iran a couple days ago. Who would have thought that negotiations can work

Lucky:
Last Monday, a powerful undersea earthquake caused a south Pacific tsunami several yards high crashing into the Solomon Islands. It was devastating tsunami, but the good news is that they don't have FEMA.

Politics:
This week, Washington treasured cherry trees are due to blossom. The famous ritual has drawn visitors for decades. Officials are issuing reminders about the harmful effects of snapping branches, climbing limbs, or trampling roots. And with everything else in D.C., the Democrats are trying to take credit for it, and the Republicans keep insisting they were unaware if what will be going on.

Match:
Donald Trump's hairdo remained intact following last week "hair match" at Wrestlemania in Detroit. Trump beat WWE owner Vince McMahon in the "Battle of the Billionaires." The pairs didn't get into the ring themselves; but rather, Trump's wrestler beat McMahon's. Afterwards, the real estate mogul cut all the hair from McMahon's head. Ironic, if anybody's hairdo needs cut, it is Mr. Trump's.

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