CARE:
A New York couple wanted to spare their cats a trip in an airliner cargo hold during a cross-country move recently completed a 2,500 mile cab ride to northern Arizona. They paid the driver $3,000 for the trip plus gas, meals, and lodging. Most people would think this is strange and excessive, but my sister (OR OTHER RELATIONSHIP) would do this.

GUILTY:
Eight out of the fifteen candidates running for traffic judge in Philadelphia have over $1000 in outstanding parking violations. I guess in that business it is true that "It takes one to know one."

GIVING:
Two diaries written by Anna Nicole Smith in the early 1990s failed to sell at an auction over the weekend, but a representative of a Dallas auction house says they're now available for a minimum bid of $25,000 each. Whoever pays for these diaries would  feel better if they donated the money to charity.

LUXURY:
Steel and coal from the Titanic have been transformed into a new line of luxury wrisrwatches that claim to capture the essence of the legendary ocean liner.   What exactly does that mean.. .if you bump it on an ice cube, the rivets will pop off?

VALUE:
An 89-year-old Evanston, Illinois, man is selling his collection of 50,000 baseball cards after burglars ransacked his home and stole a number of his baseball cards. He will auction the cards off and will make up to $3 million dollars—and to think that my mother throw away all my cards.

AGREEMENT:
US officials are saying that North Korea will miss the deadline for shutting down a nuclear facility but the delay is not expected to derail the agreement to end that country's nuclear program. Besides, if North Korea says that it will adhere to a definite timeline, you know that it will surely happen.

REVENGE:
About 37,000 Americans are involved in nail gun injuries in an average year. Medical analysts say the number have grown because of more "do-it-yourself" enthusiasts who haven't been trained in safety handling of the devices. I wonder if the analysts are calling this problem: Bob Vila's Revenge.

ADVERTISING:
A South Carolina woman who stepped outside for a cigarette did so just before an 80-foot oak tree crashed through her roof, landing across the sink where she had been standing just seconds before. So in theory: smoking cigarettes saved her live, and I bet that is how the cigarette companies are going to promote it.

GOOD NEWS:
American Idol contestant Sanjaya Malakar, who some felt was getting passed through from round to round based on his looks and personality, was finally voted off this week. And in what seemed to be a horrible week, at least, we got some good news.

LUCKY:
A drunken man who fell under a train after being jolted out of a nap at a Berlin railway station recently emerged unscathed from beneath the locomotive.  My Question: Is this guy considered lucky or unlucky?

ACCIDENT:
On Tuesday, two Secret Service officers were injured after a gun held by another Secret Service officer accidentally fired inside the White House gate.  I wonder if these officers were trained by the Vice President.

MISTAKE:
(When you make a mistake) The problem that I have with today's society is that by this evening that mistake will be posted somewhere on YouTube.

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