Current News Humor Current News Humor, 4th Week In May | Current News Humor, 4th Week In May |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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SECRET PLAN: President George Bush has approved a secret CIA non-lethal regime destabilization plan in Iran. This secret mission isn't secret because it was announced on ABC News, and how can a regime destabilization plan be non-lethal? POPULARITY: Seventeen-year-old Jordin Sparks is your new "American Idol" winner, and Apolo Anton Ohno is your new "Dancing With The Stars" winner. We should spend more time outside now since there is no need to watch any more TV. A day after the National Highway Traffic Safety Administrations began a campaign to encourage drivers to buckle up; cameras caught President Bush without his seat beat while driving a pickup on his Texas ranch. I think President Bush has Britney Spears in his PR department. Paris Hilton has been spotted walking around with a Bible. Since she is going to jail soon, she should have time to at least read the Old Testament. God will get you anyway he can. MARKETING: Denver International Airport is applying for approval to a pilot program where companies can place advertisement on the plastic bins used for security. Since you have to take off your shoes there, I think Odor Eaters must have come up with this idea. EXPENSIVE: Even adjusting for inflation, gas prices in America are the highest ever. Only two states, New Hampshire and New Jersey, currently have an average gas price below $3 per gallon, but gas prices are rising so fast that after this church service, there should be no states having gas prices under 3 dollars. JUSTICE: A California man who tried to kill his girlfriend by leaving her passed out in a car parked across railway lines was himself killed when an oncoming train hurled the car into him as he fled. Justice was served; his girlfriend survived. CONTROVERSY: A controversy surrounds the finish to the 10K run during the Cleveland Marathon. A wrong turn sent about 200 runners in the race the wrong way last Sunday. So instead of running six miles, they ran nine miles, which means the person who won the race may not be the real winner. I think if you have to stop and ask for directions in a 10k race, you shouldn't be allowed to run in it. MISTAKES: A group of Australian rugby leagues have taken a stand against fans abusing umpires, by giving refs the power to stop play until the unruly supporters are ejected from the stands. Am I the only one here who thinks that this is a bad idea? Those refs better start carrying tasers. MISINTERPRETED: Former President Jimmy Carter seems to be backing away from statements that he made calling the Bush presidency the worst administration ever. President Carter is now saying that his critical remarks about George W. Bush have been misinterpreted. How many ways can you interprete the phrase: "Worst administration ever"? CRAZY: A beer taster for a Brazillian brewery won almost $50,000 in a court battle against the company, alleging he became an alcoholic while working there. It seems that Brazil has lawyers just as good as in America.
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