Current News Humor Current News Humor, 1st Week In June | Current News Humor, 1st Week In June |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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PROBLEMS: Paris Hilton is now out of jail. She reportedly said that her jail cell was so cold that she was unable to sleep. Did she think she was staying in a Hilton Hotel? I bet she kept trying to call room service for more blankets. Scooter Libby was sentenced to two-and-a-half years in prison this past Tuesday for lying and obstructing in the CIA leak investigation outing CIA agent Valerie Plame. And for the guys who told him to do it: They get Presidential Medals of Freedom. A study has shown that 45 percent of British women, on average, have fallen or twisted their ankle while wearing high heels. I wasn't even aware of the problem until I saw Miss USA Rachel Smith. JUSTICE: A Detroit man has been sentenced to up to 90 months for a 2004 car theft. A crucial piece of evidence was a partially eaten cinnamon bun, which contained traces of his DNA. He broke the rule: Never steal a car and then eat on the run. DANGEROUS: According to a study, radiation dose from radium and polonium found naturally in tobacco can be a thousand times more than that from the caesium-137 taken up by the leaves from the Chernobyl nuclear accident. For those in the congregation who still smoke, it's time to give up the habit. Private Duncan Schneider of Albany, New York, has more reason to behave himself in uniform than most other members of the military: His platoon sergeant is also his mother-in-law. The guys serving in Iraq are brave heroes, but this guy in my book is a genuine brave hero. ANGER: Phillip Wellman went from minor league baseball coach to video star after his tirade last week. This Mississippi Braves' manager was ejected from his team's 7-6 loss to Chattanooga. His tantrum included throwing his hat, yanking up third base and tossing it into the outfield. He also crawled to the pitcher's mound, where he took the resin bag and threw it at the umpire like it was a grenade. I think this guy could be our secret weapon to win the war in Iraq. In Florida last week, an ice cream truck driver stabbed a man in the chest with a screwdriver in an apparent road rage incident. I bet it was that ice cream music that caused him to do it. ADDICTION: Birds around an English train station have found a use for cigarette butts discarded by commuters using the smoke to rid themselves of parasites. Commuters at St. David's Station in Exeter have spotted the birds holding their wings over the smoke. I wonder how long it is going to take for the birds to put these butts in their beaks. CHEATING: China's heritage bureau has launched a probe into Chinese mining companies alleged to have brought down part of the Great Wall to allow their trucks to avoid paying tolls. More and more, these Chinese mining companies are acting just like American mining companies. CONTEST: A California man broke the world record for hot dog eating at a contest Saturday, wolfing down more than 59 franks in 12 minutes. Joey Chestnut of San Jose shattered the record during the Southwest Regional Hot Dog Eating Championship at the Arizona Mills Mall in Tempe, Arizona. I wonder if he went to the Tempe Arizona Hospital for salt overdose.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 254 | Print | E-mail
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