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Current News Humor Current News Humor, Last Week In June | Current News Humor, Last Week In June |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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Unlikely A New Hampshire presidential poll shows that local Democrats prefer Al Gore to any of the current contenders. Hillary Clinton has a solid lead over the rest of the current Democratic field. Al Gore, however, could enter the race as the leader. When his name is added, Clinton loses more than a quarter of her support, while Gore is backed by 32 percent. The other imaginary candidates include Harry Potter, Tony Soprano, and whoever that silver guy is in the new Fantastic 4 movie. Elizabeth Edwards would like Republican mouthpiece Ann Coulter to "stop the personal attacks" after Coulter said, among other things, that she wished the Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards had been killed by terrorists. I doubt the terrorists will ever come close enough to get him unless they disguise themselves as well-to-do hairstylists. Politics The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee is sending out an e-mail with Paul Newman's name attached to it. Newman says that he is proud to stand with a new generation of Democrats against a president who poses the biggest internal threat to American democracy in his lifetime. He should be coming out with a Democratic salad dressing called: The Newer Deal. Excuse At least 12 gas stations have been torched in the Iranian capital, Tehran, after the government announced fuel rationing for private vehicles. I don't understand that since gasoline over there is about 30 cents a gallon. The big winners in this: the gas companies because they can now make an excuse for four dollars a gallon. Popularity US Weekly says that not only will Paris Hilton not be on the cover; she won't even be mentioned in the magazine, even though she's just been released from jail. Not to worry though, all the other tabloids will be covering her. Voted When it comes to eating vegetables, apparently there's no one better looking than Country singer Carrie Underwood and Jay Leno's bandleader Kevin Eubanks. They've been voted the World's Sexiest Vegetarians for 2007 in a poll on Peta.com. I don't know about Carrie Underwood, but I have seen Eubanks eat a lot of boloney when laughing at Leno's jokes. Tantrum A child's tantrum onboard a Delta commuter flight forced a pilot to make an emergency landing at Philadelphia International Airport. The forced landing was caused by a fight over apple juice. A 4-year-old wanted apple juice and when the stewardess didn't get it quick enough, the child threw a tantrum forcing the pilots to land the plane. I am sure from now on all stewardesses will be carrying lollipops. Correct Germany has barred the makers of a movie about a plot to kill Adolf Hitler from filming at military sites because its star, Tom Cruise, is a Scientologist. The German Government does not recognize the Church of Scientology as a church. They claim it masquerades as a religion to make money. Well, it's about time. Mistake A Florida man who lost his ball in a golf course pond nearly lost a limb this week when a 11-foot, one-eyed alligator latched on to his arm and pulled him in the water. Fifty-year-old Bruce Burger was trying to retrieve his ball Monday from a pond on the sixth hole at the Lake Venice Golf Club. I understand you want to play it where it lies, but I am sure next time he will take a penalty shot.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 301 | Print | E-mail
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Lectionary Passages for October 12th 2008
[Year A]
Proper 23(28)
Exodus 32:1-14
Psalm 106:1-6, 19-23
Matthew 22:1-14
Philippians 4:1-9
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