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Home arrow Current News Humor arrow Current News Humor, 2nd Week In July
Current News Humor, 2nd Week In July PDF Print E-mail
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Friday, 06 April 2007
It So Hot...
It was so hot this week, Al Gore was kept saying "I told you so."

It was so hot that Paris Hilton wished she was back in the cooler.

It was so hot that people sat through the whole Robin William's movie.

There is a heat wave throughout the United States. Some say it is prove of global warming; others, who do not believe in global warming, say it is from the phenomenon called summer.

Mistake
In upstate New York recently, a driver posing as a police officer tried to pull off a bogus traffic stop, but he ran into trouble when the other motorist turned out to be a real off-duty detective. Talk about being at the wrong place at the wrong time.

A Florida man who wanted to bail his friend out of the Marion County jail is behind bars after a high speed chase. He drove to the sheriffs office with a trunk full of drugs and no ID. The 100 mile-per-hour chase began when deputies tried to check Eugene Alien's ID at the front gate of the jail. Alien didn't have any ID, so he sped off, hitting a sergeant's car. You get the feeling if he hadn't hit the sergeant's car; his truck wouldn't have been full of drugs?

Strict
The "London Mirror" reports that TV anchors at the Live Earth concerts over the weekend were advised by Madonna's people to memorize all questions and to never lower ones eyes, "or the interview will be terminated." And they allow her to adopt kids.

Ratings
The Live Earth concert to raise environmental awareness wasn't a big television draw. NBC's Saturday-night highlights show was seen by fewer people than watched the soccer match between Argentina and Peru that night on Univision. One could conclude that soccer is more important than the environment.  Just ask soccer moms who drive SUV's.

Unusual
In New Hampshire, a Manchester man was arraigned on robbery charges this week after police said he disguised himself as a tree to rob a bank over the weekend. Why would anyone rob a bank disguised as a tree? Because it was a branch bank. God, please forgive me for that one.

Stress
Japanese researchers are looking for ways to reduce stress levels in tuna caught in nearby waters because they taste better when eaten. I don't know, I'm more worried about the high levels of mercury.

Demand

Women in the Spanish city of Pamplona, world-famous for its ferocious bull-running festival, are demanding their own version complete with cows instead of bulls. I have a question to ask this congregation: Has anyone ever seen a cow run? Somehow I just don't see any of this as a sport.

Wedding

Eva Longoria and Tony Parker were married over the weekend at a 17th-century chateau outside Paris. I didn't go; my invitation must have got lost in the mail.

Wrong
An 11-year-old Florida girl has been charged with driving under the influence of alcohol after she led police through an Alabama beach resort on a high-speed chase which ended when she crashed the car. She is OK.  Where were her parents?  On the beach.   As my AA friends tell me "You can't spell stupid without dui."
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