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Current News Humor Current News Humor, 1st Week In August | Current News Humor, 1st Week In August |
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It So Hot... It was so hot this week, I think for the first time that the world is going to hell. It was so hot this week that the Devil left Georgia. The weather was hotter this week than a phone conversation between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton. Expense This week a nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office estimated that even under the best scenarios American taxpayers will feel the financial consequences of the Iraq war for at least a decade ultimately costing over a trillion dollars. So much for the next president of the United State being able to say the words: "No new taxes." Claim On Wednesday, Russia planted a flag under the North Pole to symbolize the Kremlin's claim to the Arctic. In an unprecedented mission, veteran Arctic explorer Artur Chilingarov sank 14,000 feet in a deep sea submersible and dropped a Russian titanium pole onto the seabed. They can have it; it is just one big chunk of ice. Motivation Angela Powell, a British traffic warden, has issued her 500th ticket after less than three weeks on the job. It would appear that she is highly motivated in her job. Why can't Christians be more like that? Beware In California, a former Bakersfield police officer turned pastor helped nab a man who allegedly stole a car from his church's parking lot. Pastor James Kilgore always keeps a gun and handcuffs in his fanny pack. Kilgore followed the thief until he crashed, tackled him as he crawled out of the car and then handcuffed him until police arrived on the scene. I guess the pastors in California are a lot tougher than the ones in (Insert Your City and State.) Investigation Federal agents with cameras searched the home of Alaska Senator Ted Stevens amid questions about an oil company official's involvement in a 2000 renovation project that doubled his home's size. Ted Stevens, who's 83, is the longest-serving Republican senator. It is easy to find his home in Alaska, just take the bridge to nowhere. True Love A startled woman fell six feet down a mountain crevasse near Cape Clurig, Wales, after her boyfriend proposed marriage, leaving her with 10 stitches in her head. Now that is what I call love. Praise This week, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown praised George Bush for leading the global war on terror, saying the world owed America a huge debt. I guess he is correct if fighting the war on terror is pouring all your troops into one country while the terrorists train in another. Lawsuit A sports memorabilia company is suing Boston Red Sox star David Ortiz claiming the popular slugger does not sign enough autographs, but he got somewhere around two million bucks for signing his contract. I guess he figures that is enough. Stupid A former Chicago police officer living in Alsip, Illinois, claims his landlord keeps trying to steal "the world's best showerhead," a gift from his late brother. Bill Hice says the $400 item has been targeted by his landlords, who want to evict him. Carol Miadic said the showerhead is "ruining the plumbing" because Hice "doesn't know how to use it." Something isn't right here? All you have to do is turn on the water and stand under it.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 423 | Print | E-mail
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Lectionary Passages for December 7th 2008
[Year B]
Second Sunday in Advent
Isaiah 40:1-11
Psalm 85:1-2, 8-13
Mark 1:1-8
2 Peter 3:8-15
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