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Current News Humor Current News Humor, 2nd Week In August | Current News Humor, 2nd Week In August |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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Hot Weather It was so hot this week that Al Gore kept repeating "Sequel! Sequel!" It is so hot outside that people are going to church just for the air conditioning. It was so humid this week that I went outside, took a breath of air and swallowed a glass of water. Movies "The Simpson's Movie" has taken in $315 million so far. In the words of Homer Simpson: Woo Hoo! Jennifer Lopez has a movie out called "El Cantante." El Cantante is Spanish for "The Bourne Ultimatum is sold out so let's go see this one." Attack It has been reported that by a good authority that Hillary Clinton's political opponents will try to get at her by attacking her husband with a massive smear campaign. I doubt that former President Bill Clinton can be smeared against. Ken Starr spent sixty million dollars and didn't even get close. Sneak A man smuggled a monkey onto a flight from Peru to Florida to New York this week, stashing the furry fist-size primate under his hat until passengers spotted it. An airline spokesperson said she doesn't know how the man got the monkey passed security. It scary but smuggling things onto aircraft is so easy that a monkey can do it. If I have to take off my shoes, people should have to take off their hats. Removal An agricultural researcher at North Carolina A & T State University has developed what he said is a simple process to make allergen-free peanuts. The inventor is optimizing the process further to remove allergens from other foods. To bad we can't find a way to remove sin from human beings. Lucky A teenager fell six stories from a Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, hotel balcony but walked away with just bruises and scrapes. Seventeen-year-old Matthew Savage was reaching up to a balcony one floor above to grab a bathing suit that had dropped from the 11th floor when he tumbled over the railing. Savage hit other balconies on his way down and slammed onto a slanted rooftop, then slid into bushes. After landing in the bushes, he got up and started to walk to his room. Instead, I think he should have immediately walked into the nearest church. Stupid A Largo, Florida, father is behind bars after police said he took his young daughter with him to rob a pawn shop. The 26-year-old faces charges of burglary and child neglect. People need to know that that isn't neglect. Neglect would be if he left her at home. He took her with him, so that is abuse. And people need to know that endangerment would be not taking her to church on Sunday. Important Because John Edward's campaign has been dogged by stories about his expensive haircuts and a YouTube video showing him prompting before the camera, he has released a video set to the song "Hair," with images of Iraq and New Orleans and a tagline, "What Really Matters?" I think this really matters - that God gave us a wonderful country, so let us worship him.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 323 | Print | E-mail
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Lectionary Passages for October 12th 2008
[Year A]
Proper 23(28)
Exodus 32:1-14
Psalm 106:1-6, 19-23
Matthew 22:1-14
Philippians 4:1-9
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