Confusion
Idaho Senator Larry Craig is losing political support in Congress as three fellow Republicans have called for his resignation. Senator Craig pleaded guilty earlier this month as a way to say that he's, in fact, not guilty. I think his career may be in the toilet.

Money
President Bush reportedly plans to ask Congress next month for up to $50 billion in additional funding for the war in Iraq. How about sending the $50 billion to New Orleans instead.

Leona Helmsley has left her dog named Trouble a $12 million trust fund. That's quite a lot of dog biscuits.

Heaven/Hell
Evidently, Heaven for a dog is having Leona Helmsley as an owner, and Hell for a dog is having Michael Vick as one.

Reward
According to a court document released Tuesday, ex-astronaut Lisa Nowak will plead temporary insanity on charges that she assaulted and tried to kidnap a romantic rival. The good news is that after she serves her time she will probably get her own reality TV show.

Stolen
Skittles the parrot had been returned after being birdnapped from a pet retailer in Tampa, Florida. The two thousand dollar Yellow-shouldered Amazon parrot can bark like a dog. I am sure the thief returned the bird because it wouldn't stop barking.

Punishment
Malaysia's government has ordered a local daily newspaper to immediately halt publication for a month as punishment for printing an image of Jesus Christ holding a cigarette. The newspaper had said it published the photo by mistake and later carried a front-page apology. Whereas, here in the US, the newspapers would play this up as an exclusive.

Crazy World
A missing staple from a court document has allowed two murderers found guilty on one of Australia's most brutal killings to appeal against their convictions. Under a technical loophole, the murderers will argue that an earlier lost appeal was not finalized because the indictment paperwork was never fixed to the court file as required by law. Let me get this straight, murderers are getting off because of paperclips.

Anger
A man in Northern Ireland allegedly bit off the head of his girlfriend's pet snake during a recent fight and remarked that it "tasted lovely." And I bet it tasted a little like chicken. He received a congratulatory gift basket from Ozzy Osbourne.

Apology
Michael Vick pleaded guilty and apologized this week for his part in the illegal sport of dog fighting. Vick said, "I was not honest and forthright." He then apologized to "all the young kids out there for my immature acts" and added "I need to grow up." I think he is making a Hail Mary sympathy pass.

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