Hot Weather
It has been so hot this summer that even the oil companies can't deny global warming.

It has been so hot this summer I am surprised that we didn't have more baptisms.

It has been so dry this summer I think some church members would welcome another Noah's flood.

Phoenix reached a milestone on Wednesday with 29 days of temperatures 110 degrees or higher in a single year.  I still will take that over northern winters.

Scary
The Pentagon has revealed that a B-52 bomber was mistakenly armed with six nuclear warheads and flown for more than three hours across several US states last week. I think worrying about the terrorists is enough.  Now we have to worry about our military too.

Embarrassment
Republican Ohio Congressmen Paul Gillmor died this week. There was no immediate word on the cause of his death. He probably died from embarrassment over all the recent Republican antics.

Remake
The largest US microwave popcorn maker, ConAgra Foods, says it will change the recipe for its Orville Redenbacher and Act II brands over the next year to remove a flavoring chemical linked to a lung ailment in popcorn plant workers. And while they are at it, why don't they do something about those un-poped corns at the bottom of the bag.

Payment
According to a government audit, the Social Security Administration has paid over $31 million to dead people over the years. How do you get a dead person to endorse the check?

Boredom
Former Senator Fred Thompson announced his candidacy for president Wednesday on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno." Meanwhile, "The Late Show" had Danny DeVito and "Will It Float?" so I watched Letterman instead.

Weight
Scientists say they have discovered the "skinny" gene. And they've found the skinny DNA in a variety of animals, according to a report published Tuesday in the journal "Cell Metabolism." The study by senior author Dr. Jonathan Graff said, "This gene is in every organism from worms to humans." I guess I have the skinny gene too, except that mine is buried under a pile of doughnuts.

The Good Old Days
On August 31st, in 1895, the first pro football game was played. Quarterback John Brallier was paid ten dollars and won 12-0. Back then, you could buy a house for ten bucks and a horse thrown in to clinch the deal. How did people entertain themselves before that day?  They must have gone to church.

Fake
In California, a serial crank caller is accused of using a stolen cell phone to tie up 911 with nearly 2,000 fake emergency calls over the past six months, sending police and firefighters on wild goose chases. A man identifying himself as Nomar has reported himself the victim of everything from a drug overdose and a possible heart attack to robbery and attempted suicide. A parent should have read Nomar the bed-time story about "The Boy who Cried Wolf."

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