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Current News Humor Current News Humor, 2nd Week In September | Current News Humor, 2nd Week In September |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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Cost The price of oil set a record this week, briefly climbing above $80 a barrel; it appears that the oil companies have us over a barrel. The oil companies actually get richer when one of their refineries doesn't work. Stupidity Authorities say a man robbing a bank in Englewood, Colorado, demanded the money by writing a note on one of his own checks. I surprised that he just didn't have the money deposited into his checking account. Food The Rockland County, New York, health department hit the great China Buffet restaurant with two violations after someone took pictures of an employee stomping on a bowl of garlic with his boots in an alley. A spokesperson said the health department does not consider a person's shoe or boot a proper instrument to use in food preparation. However, the owners said that they're food is: boot licking good. Unfriendly In Rosie O'Donnell's soon-to be released book, "Celebrity Detox," Rosie expresses the sentiment that Barbara Walters should retire. The 45-year-old comedian writes, "At some point, a person gets tired. It's inevitable." I don't think Rosie is very good at making friends. Stardom "Daily Show's" star Jon Stewart has been tapped for his second assignment as host of the Oscars. He will take to the stage at the 2008 Academy Awards scheduled for late February. From basic cable to what's basically the biggest show of the year. Not bad. I guess as the host of the Oscars, he will be the next Billy Crystal but without the wacky numbers. Schedule Well, football started last week, I guess church attendance will start dropping off. I know that many members like to see their games at the kickoff, so I promise not have my sermons run over.. .too much. School has started back. Parents should warn their kids not to talk to any strange men or government officials. Anger In upstate New York, a man allegedly tried to run over a Burger King worker. Dana Salce got into a dispute with workers at a Burger King around 8am last Sunday when he refused to turn his music down while ordering at the drive-thru. Salce allegedly grabbed the female manager and tried to pull her through a window and then attempted to run over a worker who came to the manager's aid. And I thought I got temperamental. Several Jewish groups are upset because President Bush issued Rosh Hashana greetings over a week early. They're saying President Bush doesn't know when Rosh Hashana is. President Bush's staff said that he'll make up for the mistake by sending them something nice for Easter. Nagging A recent survey reveals that forty-five percent of sales to children of things like toys and French fries occur because a child has successfully nagged a parent. If this survey surprises you, you've obviously never had children. Cheating The National Football League is saying that a New England Patriots employee was videotaping signals by Jets coaches on New York's sideline during the season opener. Suddenly, it is a little clearer as why the Patriots won all those Super Bowls. Fund-Raising The Humane Society of the United States is using the online auction site eBay to sell the outline of the speech Michael Vick gave last month. Bids were over $10,000 for the notes from Vick's speech apologizing for his part in the dog fighting scandal. Things have been "ruff" for Michael.. .he's been "hounded" and continually "dogged" by the press.. .should I go on or should I "heel?" I think Mr. Vick should get five years in jail and a rap in the snoot with a rolled-up newspaper.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 278 | Print | E-mail
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Lectionary Passages for October 12th 2008
[Year A]
Proper 23(28)
Exodus 32:1-14
Psalm 106:1-6, 19-23
Matthew 22:1-14
Philippians 4:1-9
Copyright 1992 by the Consultation on Common Texts (CCT). Nashville: Abingdon Press.
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