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Home arrow Current News Humor arrow Current News Humor, 2nd Week In October
Current News Humor, 2nd Week In October PDF Print E-mail
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Friday, 06 April 2007
Suspended
More than two dozen staffers have been suspended from a New Jersey hospital for allegedly peeking at George Clooney's confidential medical information after he was hurt in a motorcycle accident last month. The actor said of the peeking incident, "While I very much believe in patient's right to privacy, I would hope that this could be settled without suspending medical workers." George must have remembered what it was like when filming "ER."

Boring
Former "Law & Order" star Fred Thompson appeared in his first presidential debate last night. Political experts called him "uneven, flat, and dull." In other words, he was the entertaining one.

Unlikely
What is Fred Thompson thinking?  Does he really think that a Hollywood star can become president?

Punished

A hungry, six-year-old Colorado boy wanted to go to Applebees. So he grabbed the car keys, took his booster seat and placed it in the driver's seat of his grandmother's car, then attempted to drive himself to the restaurant. Unable to take the car out of reverse, he made it about 75 feet before running into a transformer box, knocking out electricity and phone service to nearby homes. Nobody was injured, except for the rear end of the six-year-old.

Fake
In Pennsylvania, a man was apparently seeking change when he handed a fake one million dollar bill to a cashier at a Pittsburgh supermarket, but when the Giant Eagle employee refused and a manager confiscated the bogus bill, the man flew into a rage. The employee and manager knew that it was a fake million dollar bill because it didn't have the face of Oprah on it.

Stringent

A Missouri man accused of stealing a 52-cent doughnut could face time in jail. Authorities said a 41-year-old man slipped the doughnut into his shirt without paying, then pushed away a clerk who tried to stop him as he fled the store. The push is being treated as a minor assault, but because he has a criminal history, prosecutors say they could seek 30 years. That doughnut had better been very tasty.

Cheating
The head of track and field's governing body has branded Marion Jones as "one of the biggest frauds in sporting history." IAAF president Lamine Diack said Saturday he was "deeply disappointed" with news that Jones had admitted to taking banned drugs when she won three Olympic gold medals and two bronze medals in 2000. Meanwhile, Barry Bonds is being hailed a hero.

Appearance
In an appearance last week at a New York comedy club, Rosie O'Donnell put a new spin on the departure from "The View," claiming on stage that she had been fired by Barbara Walters. I don't think Rosie can make a comeback in comedy, but she can always work on an oil rig.

Prevention
Border agents have now been issued air guns that shoot pepper balls at people coming across the Mexican border. I doubt that pepper balls will prevent this; don't some Mexicans eat jalapenos on their cereal.

Recall
The Boy Scouts of America said that a painted, plastic badge worn by some of its youngest scouts is being voluntary recalled after a test revealed high levels of lead in the paint. On the bright side, the Scouts may now get a merit badge in poison control.



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