Current News Humor Current News Humor, Second Week In November | Current News Humor, Second Week In November |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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Unhappy Things didn't end well for 32-year-old Charles Tucker as police say he used a cat door as a way to get back into his girlfriend's St. Augustine, Florida, home after she kicked him out. Deputies said several hours after the woman told him to leave, she found him stuck dead in the cat door. This turned out to be a very bad incident. Charles is dead, his girlfriend's distraught and the cat's not too happy either. Anger A Chicago mail carrier was shot in the leg this week, reportedly by a person upset that the mail was being delivered too late. The incident happened Tuesday at 6:30 P.M. That is late, but shooting your mail carrier in the leg isn't going make him go any faster. Cheating The Travel Guard International insurance company says it has actually paid claims for cases arising when: a large rat allegedly walked off with a man's dentures and hearing aid that were lying on the nightstand in his hotel room. Yeah right, I then know a rat that burned down a man's house and stole his Buick. Teaching This week on "Ellen," "Project runway" host Heidi Klum said Britney Spears taught her how to properly diaper her baby. She said Spears showed up uninvited to her Halloween party, but the two quickly bonded over baby talk. Klum added, "We were talking about babies and diapers and she explained to me a lot of things about diapers that I didn't know." I wonder if Britney Spears learned about diapers from that strange, female astronaut. On Strike A justice of the peace ruled that OJ Simpson must face trial on kidnapping, armed robbery and other charges stemming from his recent confrontation with a sports memorabilia dealer in a Las Vegas hotel suite. I can bet Leno and Letterman are hoping that the writer's strike will be over soon. Confrontation One of the men who accompanied OJ Simpson to a Las Vegas hotel-room confrontation with two sports memorabilia dealers testified that the former football star wanted them to bring "heat" to show they meant business. I think the "Juice" has been in too many "Police Squad" movies. Punishment A 3 3-year-old man in India has married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death 15 years ago. If you are still mulling over the punishment for Michael Vick, I think we have found it. Questions Research has concluded that female Mallard ducks lay bigger eggs when mated with attractive male ducks than with unattractive ones. Bigger eggs produce offspring that are more likely to thrive after they hatch. My question about this research, "How do the researchers know what a female Mallard thinks is an attractive mate?" Scientific studies find that thousands of years of joint evolution have turned man's best friend into one of the family. Dogs develop bonds with their owners as children do with their parents. Research also indicates that dogs are more responsive to human gestures than other animals and are often able to empathize with the emotions of people who are sad or ill. All this and they still drink out of our toilets. Coverage Progressive Insurance has announced they will provide collision coverage for customer's dogs or cats at no additional premium cost. The company will pay up to $500 if a customer's dog or cat is hurt or dies in a car accident. So as a response, Geico is going to cover all pet lizards. Recommending Baseball general managers are recommending for the first time that instant replay be used to help umpires make difficult decisions. So you know how all the playoff and World Series games go past midnight in the east? Well now expect them to go until dawn. I wonder if (FAVORITE BASEBALL COACH) will kick dirt at the replay TV monitor.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 181 | Print | E-mail
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