Current News Humor Current News Humor, First Week In December | Current News Humor, First Week In December |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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Grand From Tyler, Texas, come the news that a reward is being offered for the safe return of a 42-foot tall inflatable snowman. And while it's never been stolen before, the owner of the $10,000 balloon says the snowman gets shot at a lot. Well, it is Texas where every thing is big and every thing gets shot at. Polite Thieves who stole 16 metric tons of ham and bacon from a warehouse in Australia recently left behind a message. They wrote "Thanks.. .Merry Christmas" on the wall. I don't condone stealing, but at least they were polite about it. Protect A Hoffman Estates, Illinois man was dragged by a car after trying to protect his Christmas decorations. Phillip Obrill says he saw a group of boys "just absolutely destroying our Christmas decorations." They then jumped into a car, which Obrill tried to stop. His hand got caught in the windshield wiper, he was dragged a short distance and his left foot was run over. He must really,really care about his holiday decorations. Prank A Montana college student accused of shoving a pumpkin pie into the face of a shopping mall Santa has been charged with misdemeanor assault. Drama student Client Westwood said he "lighty smooshed" the pie onto the man's face last week and shouted, "What do you think of that, Santa?" This college student must have repressed memories of not getting a bike for Christmas. Obesity For the first time since the Civil War, the life expectancy of Americans is expected to drop. This shocking statistic is due in large part to the explosion in childhood obesity. While a billion people are starving to death, we eat too much. Think about that when you are drinking your third cup of eggnog this Christmas. Advice A 22-year-old pregnant woman and a 29-year-old man had to swim about 50 yards to get help at night this week after their snowmobile went through the ice on Wisconsin's Wolf River. Winnebago County Sheriffs Department Lieutenant Todd Christopherson said, "The snowmobile is currently at the bottom off the Wolf River." He added that the ice is not thick enough for people to be using their snowmobiles on it yet. I bet that couple would have liked to have known that sooner. Old Age Rapper Pimp C was found dead this week of what were believed to be natural causes. He was 33. For a rapper, 33 is old age, and "natural causes" means fatal gunshot wounds. Surprised The British teacher who was jailed, then pardoned, in the Sudan after she allowed her students to name a teddy bear Muhammad, says she did not intend to offend anyone. I'm sure she's surprised. Survived A feral cat in Tennessee has been rescued after surviving for 19 days with ajar stuck on its head. A family had tried to catch and help the cat, but couldn't do so until the animal was too weak to run. The kitty is now recovering, but it used up eight of his nine lives.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 193 | Print | E-mail
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