Current News Humor Current News Humor, Second Week In December | Current News Humor, Second Week In December |
|
|
|
| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
|
Gifts The International Rhino Foundation is auctioning, on eBay, four pieces of rhino dung from the endangered species and plans to use the proceeds to fund conservation efforts. So guys, if you haven't got that special gift for your wife yet? A Manhattan doorman has been suspended for having bad breath. Jonah Seeman, who has been working at the building for 40 years, was told not to come to work because of halitosis. His friends had better give him Christmas gifts of toothpaste, mouthwash, and mints. A soldier stationed at Washington state's Fort Lewis army base says he pulled a couple of bank heists to settle debts before heading to Iraq. Sargent Christopher Brian Thompson told investigators he turned to robbery because he was $25,000 to $30,000 in debt to payday loan agencies and wanted to pay it off before being deployed to Iraq. For a Christmas wish, I would like to see the all payday loan dealers be deployed to Iraq. Stealing An Indiana Salvation Army bell ringer sang "The First Noel" while allegedly shoplifting Christmas ornaments on his break at a local Wal-Mart. He did commit a crime, but he did it in a festive spirit. St. Rocco's Roman Catholic Church in Pittston, Pennsylvania, has a tab at a local grocery store, so when a man dressed in black, wearing a cross and a white strip of cardboard around his neck said to charge his groceries to the church, clerks at the store obliged. But when his grocery orders began to include items like energy drinks and cigarettes, store officials became suspicious and alerted police. Red Bulls and a pack of Lucky's will get you every time. Dishonest Dozens of drivers filled up on cheap gas last week at a Wisconsin Shell station after an employee accidentally changed the price to 33 cents a gallon. The station's manager said of the rush for cheap fuel, "I was very upset that there's that many dishonest people. They knew there was a problem, and they took advantage of an employee's mistake and I think that's terrible." Well, it's also terrible how the oil companies take advantage of us. Advertisement A grocery store in Manhattan made a mistake recently in advertising hams as "Delicious for Hanukkah." Hanukkah is the eight-day Jewish holiday currently underway, and hams, as well as pork and other products from pigs, can't be eaten under Jewish dietary laws. I guess we can assume that the ham ad-campaign didn't go over well. Prophecy LSU head coach Les Miles signed a contract extension to keep him at the university through 2012. They would've signed him to a longer deal, but since the Mayan Calendar ends in 2012 they figured, "What's the point?" Compensate To compensate four women for being stuck in the elevator for two hours, the MGM Grand Detroit Casino is picking up them and their spouses by limo Saturday and escorting them to the MGM Grand. They'll receive free accommodations, dinner and tickets to see "The Lion King." Says one of the women, "This is more than I could ask for." It is a kind gesture, but remember Santa visits casinos every day.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 158 | Print | E-mail
Only registered users can write comments. |
||||
| < Prev | Next > |
|---|
| Home |
| Search |
| Newsletters |
| Illustrations |
| Latest Illustrations |
| Lessons & Tutorials |
| Current News Humor |
| Site Map |
| Evaluation Tools |
| Contact |
| Jesus' Wit E-Book |
Copyright © 2005 - 2008 FunnySermons.com - Humorous Sermon Illustrations and Funny Christian Anecdotes.
Designed by JoomlArt.com
Joomla! is Free Software released under the GNU/GPL License.
