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Current News Humor Current News Humor, Second Week In January | Current News Humor, Second Week In January |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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Chance New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg has been conducting a sophisticated voter analysis in all 50 states as he decides whether to launch an independent presidential bid. He can save some time and money because my sophisticated voter analysis says: "No way." Decision Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney has decided to pull his advertising from South Carolina. It would be great if all the candidates would do likewise...throughout America. The US government is preparing 102 court cases against landowners in Arizona, California and Texas for blocking efforts to select sites for a fence along the Mexican border, but once they get this sorted out, there's no end of cheap labor willing to build that fence. Parenting Parents have a difficult job, but 1 like how one mother recently handled a tough situation. Recently, Iowa's Jane Hambleton reacted after finding alcohol in her son's car by deciding to sell the vehicle. She put an ad in the classifieds that read: "Totally uncool parents who obviously doesn't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet." I say, "Good for her." Politics John McCain has a very interesting background as he runs for the presidency. He is a highly decorated veteran, spent five and half years in prison, then went into politics ...usually it's the other way around. Senator Hillary Clinton won New Hampshire's Democratic primary last night in a surprising victory over Senator Barack Obama. It was a contest that she had been forecast to lose. Evidently, the big difference: when she appeared to cry during an interview. This tactic also works well with my wife. Hypocrisy Jon Stewart says that until the ongoing writer's strike is settled, his nightly fake newscast on Comedy Central will be referred to as "A Daily Show" rather than "The Daily Show." I am sure that after the writers hear this, they will all rejoice in triumph. Competition The "Wall Street Journal" reports that McDonald's is set to launch coffee bars with "baristas" serving cappuccinos and lattes, moving into direct competition with Starbucks. In response, Starbucks plans to start selling thin hamburgers which are high in fat. Good Vs. Bad New York City's waterfront is getting cleaner. However, bothersome river creatures not seen in hundreds of years are once again attacking wooden ships and piers. The waters were once so filthy that early 20th-century sailors could be sure their boats would be safe from such threats. All right, we have officially reached the end of the line - where clean water is now a bad thing. Ratio Most Americans put on seven to ten pounds over the holiday. But relatively speaking, we're all the same ratio to each other, so I hope it's not really noticeable.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 231 | Print | E-mail
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