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Home arrow Illustrations arrow Anecdotes arrow Heaven arrow Wal-Mart Vs Heaven
Wal-Mart Vs Heaven PDF Print E-mail
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Friday, 29 February 2008
I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Here are the similarities I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices.

Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates
Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors
Heaven: Eternal
Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours
Heaven: Where old people go when they expire
Wal-Mart: Where old people go when they retire
Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God
Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone
Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God
Wal Mart: Purple-haired women shouting for a price check on diapers
Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin
Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint
Heaven: motto - EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully
Wal-Mart: motto - EDLP = Every day low prices
Heaven: Sam Walton - now a resident!
Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale!

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Lectionary Passages for November 23rd 2008
[Year A]
Proper 29(34)
Sundays after Pentecost

Ezekiel 34:11-16, 20-24

Psalm 100
Matthew 25:31-46
Ephesians 1:15-23


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