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Thanksgiving, Veteran's Day, Election, and Shopping Illustrations, Anecdotes, and One-Liners
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Illustrations
Anecdotes
Heaven
Wal-Mart Vs Heaven | Wal-Mart Vs Heaven |
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| Friday, 29 February 2008 | ||||
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I consider Wal-Mart to be God's gift to shoppers. Here are the similarities I have noticed between the kingdom of Heaven and the Kingdom of Everyday Low Prices. Heaven: St. Peter greets you at the gates Wal-Mart: Some old geezer named Peter greets you at the automatic doors Heaven: Eternal Wal-Mart: Open 24 hours Heaven: Where old people go when they expire Wal-Mart: Where old people go when they retire Heaven: Plenty of Room for everyone who loves God Wal-Mart: Plenty of Parking for Everyone Heaven: Golden-haired angels shouting the glory of God Wal Mart: Purple-haired women shouting for a price check on diapers Heaven: Salvation and redemption no matter what your sin Wal-Mart: Full money refund on no matter what your complaint Heaven: motto - EDLP = Every Do-gooder lives peacefully Wal-Mart: motto - EDLP = Every day low prices Heaven: Sam Walton - now a resident! Wal-Mart: Sam's choice cola -- now on sale! Quote this article on your site | Views: 398 | Print | E-mail
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Lectionary Passages for November 23rd 2008
[Year A]
Proper 29(34)
Sundays after Pentecost
Ezekiel 34:11-16, 20-24
Psalm 100
Matthew 25:31-46
Ephesians 1:15-23
Copyright 1992 by the Consultation on Common Texts (CCT). Nashville: Abingdon Press.