Current News Humor Current News Humor, Third Week In March | Current News Humor, Third Week In March |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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Baptism Courtroom artist renditions for the Paul McCartney/Heather Mills divorce proceedings confirm that Mills dumped a glass of water on McCartney's divorce lawyer, Fiona Shackleton. Outside of the courtroom, Mills told reporters, it was a "baptism." That's one church I do not want to be a part of. Worry McDonald's, Coca-cola and other sponsors - who've paid big bucks to link their names with the Beijing Olympics - are reportedly concerned about their association with China given the recent unrest in Tibet. I think they should be more concerned about the fat and sugar being put in their food and drink. Trip Vice President Dick Cheney was in Iraq this week. He told the Iraqi government that their leaders have show recent progress, and he also showed them how to shoot a gun. Anxiety According to USA Today, Starbucks is going to market an energy drink. I guess the Double Espressos and Lattes were not wiring people up enough. Brain Power Researchers claim that men lose brain power at three times the rate of women. Psychology professor Ruben Gur claims there is "a steady decline in the male ability to perform attention-oriented tasks." I could have told you that because my wife has been telling me that for years. Cheap From the pages of "Smart Money" magazine come some money-saving tips from tightwads. Among the tips are to cut up old shower curtains for baby bibs. You can also save wax paper liners from cereal boxes and collect lint from your clothes dryer to make your own stuffed animals for kids. I know there is a few of you in the congregation who can't wait to read this issue. Lawsuit A 15-year-old Connecticut high school student plans to sue his school after a teacher woke him up in class. The teen says he suffered pain and "very severe injures to his left eardrum" when teacher Melissa Nadeau abruptly slammed the palm of her hand on his desk to wake him up. The high school students do not know how easy they have it. If we sued for all the things teachers did to punish us back then; we would be multimillionaires. Work Being a workaholic is so common in Japan that workers have trouble unwinding and relaxing during a week's vacation. Here in America we have the opposite problem. Privacy UCLA Medical Center will reportedly fire some employees and discipline others for looking at the confidential medical records of Britney Spears while she was hospitalized recently in its psychiatric ward. I don't know why the employees went though all that trouble. They could have found most of it in the National Enquirer. Economy St. Patrick's Day was last Monday. You could see green on peoples' clothing and green in some rivers, but little green was seen on Wall Street. Stupid A Pennsylvania man is accused of attempted bank robbery after he arrived at the Citizens and Northern bank last week and waited in his car for about 20 minutes. Shortly after noon, he tried to enter the bank wearing a ski mask and carrying a rifle, but the bank's Liberty branch closes at noon on Thursday, foiling his plans, which apparently, were not too well thought out.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 210 | Print | E-mail
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