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Current News Humor
Current News Humor: 3rd Week In Sept. | Current News Humor: 3rd Week In Sept. |
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| Thursday, 10 August 2006 | ||||
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HYPOCRITY:
After a hard day of building nuclear missiles, threatening to wipe Israel off the map, spreading terrorism, Irans religous leaders will always return to their Quran. It is ironic that an Iraqi terrorist, Khay Rahnajet, didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it. WISDOM: Many Muslims are now upset with Pope Benedict. Tell me, who aren't they upset with? It is harder to find Heaven on Earth than to find Saddam's weapons of mass destruction. VALUE: Statistics show that 53 per cent of marriages end in divorce. When couples say "I do" today, they actually mean definitely maybe. An Episcopalian lay pastor in Scotland, hopes to spread the word of God by appealing to science fiction fans with her "Star Trek Gospels." I wonder if in these gospels that you can get beamed up into Heaven. The Ford Motor Company's new motto is "Jobless No. 1." Bravo has announced that next year they will start a gay version of "The View." Finally, there will be a show worst than "Jerry Springer." Gas prices are rapidly falling. I am sure the prices will go up again after the elections. WELCOME: The US House of Representatives has authorized building a fence along potions of the border with Mexico, and it will probably be built with cheap Mexican labor. I am just glad that the Indians didn't have any immigration laws. We are going to have a luncheon after church today, and you will be glad that we won't be serving any spinach. An Oregon high school has devised a method of boosting student attendance. The students with 95% attendance record will get a chance to win a car. Some Sundays I think we should do this. HUMBLE: Everyone on Earth will get humbled; this week, it was Willie Nelson. STEAL: They (_) are as guilty as Bob Ney. Teach your child the Ten Commandments, and they will no steal. Teach your child the Ten Suggestions, and they will. DELIGHT: The space shuttle Atlantis has landed after a short delay. NASA was concerned with a mystery object that was floating near the shuttle. I bet that the object was one of those lost bolts. SADNESS: Madonna's concert show mocks the Christian Cross. The world is going to Hyades in a plastic Wal-Mart bag. Quote this article on your site | Views: 270 | Print | E-mail
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Lectionary Passages for November 23rd 2008
[Year A]
Proper 29(34)
Sundays after Pentecost
Ezekiel 34:11-16, 20-24
Psalm 100
Matthew 25:31-46
Ephesians 1:15-23
Copyright 1992 by the Consultation on Common Texts (CCT). Nashville: Abingdon Press.