Current News Humor Current News Humor, Fourth Week In March | Current News Humor, Fourth Week In March |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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Unhealthy According to the just-released CQ Press annual list. Mississippi is the most unhealthy state in America, beating out last year's "winner," Louisiana. The Magnolia State has the highest rate of teenage births in the nation, the highest age-adjusted death rate, and the highest infant mortality rate. It also has the largest percentage of obese adults and adults who do not exercise. They do however exercise their right to smoke and eat fatty foods. Fraud A Connecticut corrections officer who was collecting workers' compensation because of a back injury has been suspended from his job and arrested after news photographers captured him competing in a 40-yard dash. I bet he is trying to explain it like the water and wine miracle. Loneliness According to a study, people with higher incomes reported less loneliness. So it appears that I am destined to be pretty lonely. Out-Of-Wedlock TV's "Access Hollywood" reports that Jamie Lynn Spears and her boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, could be one closer to tying the knot. A source close to the Spears family says getting married "had been (Jamie Lynn's) goal." The mother-to-be and her 18-year-old fiancee are expecting their first child this summer. Hence the wedding talk. Scheduling The NFL is considering starting its Thursday night season opener an hour-and-a-half earlier to avoid airing at the same time as the Republican convention. The game, in which the New York Giants will be the home team, now is scheduled for 8:30PM on September 4 and will be televised by NBC. But the league talking with the network about changing the game's starting time to 7PM as that night is also is the final night of the Republican convention. Or they could save the hassle and nominate McCain during half time. Mistake The Pentagon admitted that the US military mistakenly shipped four triggers for nuclear missiles to Taiwan. The military was supposed to ship helicopter batteries to Taiwan but instead sent fuses used as part of the trigger mechanism on missiles. It said the items have been returned to the United States. And these are our best and the brightest working in DC. Excuse Police say a man's excuse for speeding through a small Connecticut town involved a poorly dunked Oreo. A state trooper who stopped the 1993 BMW last fall says its driver blamed his driving problems on an errant Oreo. Justin Vonkummer told the trooper that an Oreo had slipped out of his hand as he dunked it in a cup of milk, and that he was trying to fish it out when he lost control of his car. He probably was on his cell phone and shaving at the time. Broke Marion Jackson, who in 1985 was in the studio with his brother Michael and an all-star cast for the recording of the song "We are the World," is reportedly having money troubles these days. According to a report in the "New York Post," Marion now works stocking shelves at a supermarket. He now entertains people with his stock-clerk moonwalks. Acting Former presidential candidate Fred Thompson is heading back to Hollywood. The former "Law & Order" star has signed with the William Morris Agency. Fred might not get elected president but he can certainly pick up a few bucks playing the president on TV.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 230 | Print | E-mail
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