Current News Humor Current News Humor, First Week In April - 2008 | Current News Humor, First Week In April - 2008 |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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Fighter Campaigning in Philadelphia this week, Hillary Clinton was comparing herself with Rocky Balboa. The New York senator and former first lady said, "Can you imagine If Rocky Balboa had gotten halfway up those art museum stairs and said, 'Well, I guess that's about far enough.'" The problem with this analogy is that Rocky ends up losing the fight. Stealing A burglar who broke into a funeral home in Spain tried to hide from police by playing dead in a casket, but several things gave him away. Number one was the fact that he was breathing. Also, he was dressed in grungy clothes rather than a good suit. What exactly was he trying to steal that ended him up in a funeral home? When employees at a Chicago muffler shop told a wannabe thief that a safe he wanted to rob wasn't open, he asked them to give him a call when their boss returned with the combination. He said he'd come back for the cash. Of course, he returned several hours later and was greeted by police. This guy must be on the top of the dumbest criminal list. Hi-Tech Pay-per-view funerals went live online in Britain this week, allowing mourners who cannot attend services in person to pay their last respects via the internet. When I heard this story, I came to the conclusion that the world is too hi-tech. Expense With baseball's 2008 season underway, it's been pointed out that Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees is paid more than the entire Florida Marlins team. A-Rod will get $28 million this year. The Yankees will have to sell a lot of hot dogs this season. Wait Donnie Walsh was hired this week as president of the New York Knicks and said he would wait a few days before deciding on Isaiah Thomas' future with the team. What are you waiting for? They stink now and they're going to stink next week. Second Chance A computer malfunction in Evansville, Indiana had wiped out a month's worth of grades at three high schools and one middle school, giving struggling students a second chance. The school district has announced that the malfunction occurred during spring break. This must be one of the tactics for the "No Child Left Behind Act." Competition An Indiana woman who claims a Domino's pizza-delivery guy ran over her five-month-old Jack Russell Terrier and wants Domino's to get her a new dog. Not to be out done, Papa John's delivery guy ran over her cat. Free A Grand Rapids, Michigan, barbershop is no longer allowed to give out free beer with haircuts. That's the determination of the attorney general, who says the barbershop needs a liquor license to hand out beer. But according to the owner of Jude's Barbershop, which has offered a free beer with a cut, "Offering a complimentary beer is not something that we created. It's an old-fashioned service that was done years ago." However, sober barbers make better hair cuts. Alcoholism In Muncie, Indiana, this week, a drunken man woke up inside a garbage truck. William M. Bowen is not sure how he got there but says he woke up after a night of drinking with friends and realized he was inside a commercial trash-collection truck full of waste. This guy needs AA.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 189 | Print | E-mail
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