Current News Humor Current News Humor, Fourth Week In April - 2008 | Current News Humor, Fourth Week In April - 2008 |
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| Friday, 06 April 2007 | ||||
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Mystery It looks like the Phoenix UFO mystery has been solved. Turns out those lights in the sky over Arizona Monday night were actually highway flares tied to helium balloons. A local man says he saw his neighbor launch several helium balloons with flares attached. Now for the next twenty years, UFO hunters will be discussing a federal cover-up. Those lights in the sky turned out to be a fraud. It turns out to be just balloons with flares on them. I was hoping it was extra-terrestrials and that they would tell us how to get off of foreign oil. Suspended The Tennessee Titans agreed in principle to trade suspended cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones to the Dallas Cowboys. I forget why he was suspended in the first place? Dog fighting? Assault and Battery? With these NFL guys you never know anymore. Marital Fight Hours after he finished the Boston Marathon, a South Korean man tried to kill his wife in the parking lot of a hotel. Police say Kim Yong Sik was arrested late Monday night at the Sheraton Framingham after hotel security stopped him from hurting his wife in the parking lot. The motive for the attack is unknown as neither Sik nor his wife speak English. Apparently, his "runners high" wore off really quickly. Interesting Senator Hillary Clinton won Pennsylvania's presidential primary this week, beating Senator Barack Obama by a ten point margin, getting 55 percent of the vote to Obama's 45 percent. For once, the Democratic Convention might actually be interesting to watch. Found A 69-year-old Florida woman found an eight-foot alligator in her kitchen this week after it pushed through he porch screen. Sandra Frosti found the alligator prowling around her house late Monday night. The alligator has been removed, but she hasn't seen her cat since. Wreck Ninety-year-old Lois Weber recently changed the brand of tennis shoe and wasn't accustomed to the wider fit. She told police that the shoes got caught under a pedal, causing her to lose control and back into an Indiana McDonald's restaurant. Or maybe she got confused when she saw the sign "drive-thru." Suing A Chicago dentist is suing the Chicago Bulls after the team's mascot, Kenny the Bull grabbed his arm as he fell forward, hyper-extending the arm and rupturing his biceps muscle. Dr. Don Kalant Sr. alleged he was sitting near courtside on February 12th when he raised his arm to get a high-five form Kenny. In this lawsuit-happy-world, Kenny the Bull will now have to wear a sign warning the fans to high-five at their own risk. Fake All three candidates this week showed up on Raw WWE. That's a wrestling show. Each made a ridiculous wrestling-themed statement then actors portraying the candidates wrested. I knew it was a hoax; the wrestlers didn't fight hard enough. Stupid An alleged drug dealer who got ripped off on New York's Long Island called the cops following a drug deal that went bad. This just proves that either stupid people do drugs or that drugs will make you stupid. Take your pick!  Quote this article on your site | Views: 107 | Print | E-mail
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