Honor
Speaking at the graduation of Northwestern law school over the weekend, 1968 grad Jerry Springer said, "I've been virtually everything you can't respect: a lawyer, a mayor, a news anchor, and a talk show host. Pray for me; if I get to heaven, we're all going." Yeah, he gets to paradise too!

Amaze
In an effort to offset record-high fuel prices, American Airlines will start charging passengers fifteen dollars for their first checked bag, cut domestic flights and lay off what could potentially be thousands of workers. Soon they will be charging for that tiny bag of peanuts.

Heaven
A truck loaded with Oreo cookies overturned this week on an Illinois roadway about an hour outside Chicago after the driver fell asleep. A trailer, carrying 14 tons of double-stuffed Oreos, dumped boxes of cookies all over the road and the median, which shut down the highway and backed up traffic. Now if a truck load of milk happened to wreck, that would be just like heaven.

Faith
According to "OK!" magazine, newlyweds Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have signed a prenuptial agreement. "OK!" reports that Ashlee's father, Joe Simpson, insisted on the prenup following the Nick and Jessica situation, where his older daughter was reportedly forced to pay Nick Lachey over $10 million following their divorce. It's nice to see a Hollywood couple starting their life together in faith.

Worship
Saudi Arabia's leaders turned down President Bush's request to increase oil production last week, saying they seen no reason to increase production until customers demand it. How can they say we don't demand it? We are real close to worshiping the stuff now.

Destroy
Senor US Pakistani officials tell NBC News that a Predator last week attacked a village in northwest Pakistan killing a "high-value target." A US official said there were "no household names - no Bin Laden, no Zawahiri," but a second official said in spite of that, the target was high value." Sounds like they had another accidental miss-fire.

Attendance
According to church statistics, fewer than one in five Catholics who live in the Boston Archdiocese regularly attend Mass at a parish. And the poll wasn't even taken during football season.

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