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Home arrow Current News Humor arrow Current News Humor, Last Week In June - 2008
Current News Humor, Last Week In June - 2008 PDF Print E-mail
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Friday, 06 April 2007

ANSWER
According to newly released statistics, the world now has 10 million millionaires, and so far not a one of them have returned my calls.

LISTEN

Nine-year-old Sadie Vance and her seven-year-old sister Pyper, marched around downtown Salt Lake City this week chanting, "Lower the gas prices." The sisters decided to protest after losing their favorite cable TV channels when their mother had to sacrifice cable TV to pay for her daily commute. The whole world is saying the same thing, but the Saudis aren't listening.

GOD

An interesting study was released this week where people in California are less convinced there is a God than any other state in our country. On an unrelated note, in California, more than 800 wildfires are burning out of control.

COMFORT
Next year's group of celebrities to receive stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame will include Hugh Jackman, Ben Kingsley, The Village People and Tinker Bell. But Cheeta, the 76-year-old animal actor, whose credits include the 1967 comedy "Doctor Dolittle" and the "Tarzan" movies, has been turned down for a star despite an online petition. Cheeta, however, is living comfortably in Palm Springs and doing a lot better than the Village People.

FEAR
According to the Pentagon, at least 1,000 nuclear missiles or components in the US arsenal are lost or cannot be located. That makes me sleep well at night.

RESPECT
LeBron James and Kobe Bryant will lead the US Olympic basketball team in Beijing this August. The American squad is looking to improve on their last performance, a third-place, bronze metal finish in Athens four years ago. I respect any team who beat us four years ago, but how come they aren't playing in the NBA?

BURDEN
About 30 students from Connecticut's Rocky Hill High School carried a 1987 Camaro up three flights of steps at the school last week as their senior prank. Even minus the engine, transmission and interior, the vehicle, which was used in auto shop class, still weighed over 2,000 pounds. Couldn't they have done something much easier like Tee-Peeing a school tree.

Gas costs half as much in Mexico - 2 bucks a gallon, and a lot of Americans are flocking to Tijuanna to fill their tanks. If gas prices continue to go up, Americas will be illegally fleeing to Mexico.

SINFUL
Suspended Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones - who has a long history of trouble with the law - no longer wants to be known as Pacman. The troubled pro football player explains, "There's really just a lot of negativity behind it. It's just time for a change, man. I'm doing everything to make sure that I'm all right as a person, mentally and emotionally."... Or instead you could just stay out of trouble.


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