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Current News Humor Current News Humor, Second Week In September - 2008 | Current News Humor, Second Week In September - 2008 |
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Impossible/Sea Parting "Star" magazine reports that the relationship problems are mounting for new parents Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge. According to a family friend, the latest troubles began after Jamie Lynn tried to set some ground rules. She allegedly asked him to give her the passwords to his e-mail and voice mail accounts, be available via cell phone at all times and follow a curfew that would have him home with her and the baby no later than 9pm. I think it would be easier to part the sea. Life Life can be like New England Patriots' quarterback, Tom Brady: you sometimes get a season-ending injury during the season opener. Death A study of more than 1,000 mainly British and North American rock artists has found they are two to three times more likely to suffer a premature death than the general population. According to Mark Bellis, lead author of the study, "The paper clearly describes a population of rock and pop stars who are at a disproportionate risk of alcohol-related and drug-related deaths." I could have told you that without the study. God In a recent interview, Hulk Hogan's daughter/reality show star Brooke Hogan said of her plans for the upcoming presidential election, "You know who I'm voting for? I'm voting for God." If God was on the ballot, I would vote for Him too. America needs all the help it can get. Love A 54-year-old Wisconsin man says his obsessive-compulsive disorder drove him to eat 23,000 Big Macs during the last 36 years. Don Gorske says he hit the milestone last month. He began ordering the big burgers on May 17, 1972. I guess it is a complete understatement to say that he loves hamburgers. Stupid Police in Iowa City didn't have much trouble tracking down a man accused of using a stolen credit card. He used the stolen credit card to buy a latte at a coffee house and to buy cigarettes at a tobacco store. It was so easy to catch him because...he signed his own name on the receipts. Acceptance A California State senator says he is seeking a legal opinion to determine whether the LPGA Tour's language requirement for players violates state or federal law. Senator Leland Yee is upset about a policy that required players to speak effective English starting in 2009. The rule is effective immediately for new players, while veteran members will be suspended if they can't pass an oral English test. I am all for the English language, but how will this help them putt. Fear A North Carolina biochemical engineer was flagged down by a fellow motorist last week after seeing a snake drop from beneath the woman's minivan. The scientist doesn't know where the snake came from. I bet from now on she will check her van before she gets in. Giving The government is spending $200 billion to bail out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac; unemployment is at a five-year high; foreclosures are at a 19-year high, and it is an election year. This can only mean one thing: another federal rebate check is coming.  Quote this article on your site | Views: 321 | Print | E-mail
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Lectionary Passages for December 7th 2008
[Year B]
Second Sunday in Advent
Isaiah 40:1-11
Psalm 85:1-2, 8-13
Mark 1:1-8
2 Peter 3:8-15
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