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Home arrow Current News Humor arrow Current News Humor: 1st Week In Nov.
Current News Humor: 1st Week In Nov. PDF Print E-mail
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Thursday, 10 August 2006
IMMIGRATION: President bush recently signed a bill authorizing 700 miles of fencing along the US-Mexico border.  I'm wishy-washy on this issue; you could say I'm "on the fence."

ADDICTION:
A recent study shows that 11 year-olds who smoke just one cigarette are more likely to become regular smokers by the time they're 14 years-old.  I guess that explains the "Joe Camel" ad campaign.

ELECTIONS:
The next week's midterm elections will be the most costly congressional race in US history. And I bet the oil companies are footing the bill.

This election year, the Republican National Committee admits that ninety percent of its advertising budget has funded negative and attacks ads; I'm tired of all these negative ads, and I approve of this message.

Oil is now down to $58 per barrel.  If my calculations are correct, this means Election Day is this Tuesday.

WEALTH:
Wall Street workers took home nearly $300,000 on average last year as profits from trading rose.  I could do their job just by advising people to buy Halliburtion and BP stocks.

FEAR:
Stephen King is e-mailing friends and fans urging them to vote. Says King, "If I know anything , I know scary, and giving this president and this out-of-control Congress two more years to screw up our future is downright terrifying."  If he writes a book on this current Congress, I am sure he will title it: Greed, Greed and More Greed.

BOMBING ON A JOKE:
I blow that joke worst than John Kerry could.

ATTENDANCE UP AT CHURCH:

I look into our congregation, and I know that Daylight Savings Time is over.

HALLOWEEN:
Halloween week turned out badly for a Wisconsin man who suffered severe burns after his homemade sheep costume caught fire.  He was treated and released from the hospital.  He went into the Halloween party in a sheep costume and left as a Leg of Lamb.

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