Skip to content

Narrow screen resolution Wide screen resolution Increase font size Decrease font size Default font size default color green color orange color

LaughingStock November Issue Available Now

Thanksgiving, Veteran's Day, Election, and Shopping Illustrations, Anecdotes, and One-Liners
Click Here...


How To Humor Ebooks
from FunnySermons.com
Click Here
$1.99 each
These five Ebooks will show you how to use humor effectively in the pulpit. Use humor today. Click Here
all for $6.49

Your Ad Here
12-21-2006 PDF Print E-mail
User Rating: / 0
PoorBest 
Wednesday, 09 August 2006

Newsletter for December 21, 2006

A cheerful heart is good medicine.
Proverbs 17:22

Current News Humor

Christmas Humor


 

   

   

NEW AT FUNNYSERMONS.COM.  WE ARE OFFERING ILLUSTRATIONS AND QUOTATIONS OF THE NON-HUMOROUS TYPE (HYPERLINKED IN RED) FOR REGISTERED MEMBERS.

   

The average man is proof enough that a women can take a joke.

 

Lectionary Passages for December 31th, 2006
Epiphany of our Lord, Year C 

  


 

Isaiah 60:1-6   Theme:  darkness ; worship ; darkness ; worship
Theme one-liner:  glory ; worship

 

 

Isaiah 60

Future Glory for Jerusalem
 1 “Arise, Jerusalem! Let your light shine for all to see.
      For the glory of the Lord rises to shine on you.
 2 Darkness as black as night covers all the nations of the earth,
      but the glory of the Lord rises and appears over you.
 3 All nations will come to your light;
      mighty kings will come to see your radiance.

 4 “Look and see, for everyone is coming home !
      Your sons are coming from distant lands;
      your little daughters will be carried home.
 5 Your eyes will shine,
      and your heart will thrill with joy ,
   for merchants from around the world will come to you.
      They will bring you the wealth of many lands.
 6 Vast caravans of camels will converge on you,
      the camels of Midian and Ephah.
   The people of Sheba will bring gold and frankincense
      and will come worshiping the Lord.

   

Psalm 72:1-7   Theme:  justice ; wealth
Theme one-liner:  justice ; prosperity

 

 

 

Psalm 72

A psalm of Solomon.
 1 Give your love of justice to the king, O God,
      and righteousness to the king’s son.
 2 Help him judge your people in the right way;
      let the poor always be treated fairly .
 3 May the mountains yield prosperity for all,
      and may the hills be fruitful.
 4 Help him to defend the poor ,
      to rescue the children of the needy,
      and to crush their oppressors.
 5 May they fear you as long as the sun shines,
      as long as the moon remains in the sky.
      Yes, forever !

 6 May the king’s rule be refreshing like spring rain on freshly cut grass,
      like the showers that water the earth.
 7 May all the godly flourish during his reign.
      May there be abundant prosperity until the moon is no more.

   

Psalm 72:10-14   Theme:  messiah ; savior
Theme one-liner:  king

 

 


 10 The western kings of Tarshish and other distant lands
      will bring him tribute .
   The eastern kings of Sheba and Seba
      will bring him gifts.
 11 All kings will bow before him,
      and all nations will serve him.

 12 He will rescue the poor when they cry to him;
      he will help the oppressed, who have no one to defend them.
 13 He feels pity for the weak and the needy,
      and he will rescue them.
 14 He will redeem them from oppression and violence,
      for their lives are precious to him.

   

Ephesians 3:1-12   Theme:  grace ; grace
Theme one-liner:  save

    

 

Ephesians 3

God’s Mysterious Plan Revealed
 1 When I think of all this, I, Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus for the benefit of you Gentiles . . . 2 assuming, by the way, that you know God gave me the special responsibility of extending his grace to you Gentiles. 3 As I briefly wrote earlier, God himself revealed his mysterious plan to me. 4 As you read what I have written, you will understand my insight into this plan regarding Christ. 5 God did not reveal it to previous generations, but now by his Spirit he has revealed it to his holy apostles and prophets.

 6 And this is God’s plan: Both Gentiles and Jews who believe the Good News share equally in the riches inherited by God’s children. Both are part of the same body, and both enjoy the promise of blessings because they belong to Christ Jesus.  7 By God’s grace and mighty power, I have been given the privilege of serving him by spreading this Good News.

 8 Though I am the least deserving of all God’s people, he graciously gave me the privilege of telling the Gentiles about the endless treasures available to them in Christ. 9 I was chosen to explain to everyone this mysterious plan that God, the Creator of all things, had kept secret from the beginning.

 10 God’s purpose in all this was to use the church to display his wisdom in its rich variety to all the unseen rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. 11 This was his eternal plan, which he carried out through Christ Jesus our Lord.

 12 Because of Christ and our faith in him, we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence.


Matthew 2:1-12   Theme:  giving ; giving
Theme one-liner:  visit ; gift ; journey

 

 

 

Matthew 2

Visitors from the East
   Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, 2Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose, and we have come to worship him.”

 3 King Herod was deeply disturbed when he heard this, as was everyone in Jerusalem. 4 He called a meeting of the leading priests and teachers of religious law and asked, “Where is the Messiah supposed to be born?”

 5 “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they said, “for this is what the prophet wrote:

 6 ‘And you, O Bethlehem in the land of Judah,
      are not least among the ruling cities of Judah,   
    for a ruler will come from you     
     who will be the shepherd for my people Israel.'”

 7 Then Herod called for a private meeting with the wise men, and he learned from them the time when the star first appeared. 8 Then he told them, “Go to Bethlehem and search carefully for the child. And when you find him, come back and tell me so that I can go and worship him, too!”

 9 After this interview the wise men went their way. And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! 11 They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

 12 When it was time to leave, they returned to their own country by another route, for God had warned them in a dream not to return to Herod.


 

 

 

 

Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

bottom

To unsubscribe to this newsletter, log into your Paypal account and cancel via your subscription management.
Copyright 2006, FunnySermons.com


Quote this article on your site | Views: 230 | Print | E-mail

Be first to comment this article

Only registered users can write comments.
Please login or register.

 
< Prev   Next >

Login


Please consider making a donation to Funny Sermons. Your donation will help with web hosting and development costs.

Enter Amount:

FunnySermons.com Newsletters

Weekly RCL Humor
Daily Christian Humor


Receive HTML?

Lectionary Passages for December 7th 2008
[Year B]
Second Sunday in Advent

Isaiah 40:1-11

Psalm 85:1-2, 8-13
Mark 1:1-8
2 Peter 3:8-15


Copyright 1992 by the Consultation on Common Texts (CCT). Nashville: Abingdon Press.

New Site From FunnySermons.com


FunnySermons.com is happy to announce the completion of our newest site, PrayerFeed.com

PrayerFeed is a Myspace style Christian Social Networking site complete with custom profiles, groups, widgets, bulletins, and video and mp3 uploads. In addition, PrayerFeed.com includes a syndicated prayer request board.

The site was officially launched on August 19, 2008. You can create your account here.

Current Events

Current News Humor, Third Week In November - 2008
Read More...
Current News Humor, Second Week In November - 2008
Read More...
Current News Humor, First Week In November - 2008
Read More...
Current News Humor, Last Week In October - 2008
Read More...
Current News Humor, Fourth Week In October - 2008
Read More...

Current Quotations

Current News Quotations, Third Week In November - 2008
Read More...
Current News Quotations, Second Week In November - 2008
Read More...
Current News Quotations, First Week In November - 2008
Read More...

Top