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Thursday, 21 December 2006
If you have little children or if you have been around little children, you've seen this scene a dozen times. The older child gets a toy, perhaps a special little truck he loves to play with. In fact, he plays with it till he about wears all the paint off it. And one day it's sitting on the coffee table and nobody's touching it. Along comes little sister, who toddles up to the table and reaches her little hand over to the well-worn truck, only to have it snatched away by the gorilla in the family. "It's my truck!" He doesn't want to part with something that important.
How many of us parents have looked at the older child saying, "Let her play with it," and had the child say, "Oh, of course. Here, sis."
Are you kidding? "Mine! Mine!" And you just about have to break his arm to get the truck out of his hand. He doesn't want to give it up. And your compulsion makes him grip it tighter.
That's an illustration of giving "grudgingly." And yet the remarkable thing is that the standard approach in fund-raising is causing people to feel forced. You see, compulsion results in reluctance. When you are compelled to do something, you are all the more reluctant to give it up.

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