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Home arrow Current News Humor arrow Current News Humor: 2nd Week In Jan.
Current News Humor: 2nd Week In Jan. PDF Print E-mail
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Thursday, 10 August 2006
STUPIDITY:
In Connecticut recently, a carjacker was arrested after stealing cars. In quick succession, he stole and wrecked three cars.  Maybe, I am being picky here, but I firmly believe that the first rule of carjacking should be learning to drive.

This week in Woonsocket, Rhode Island, two mothers and their 13-year-old daughters were arrested after one woman drove her daughter to school to fight a teenage rival.  I am happy that parents take an interest in their kid's school activities, but this is a bit much.

The first anti-obesity drug for dogs has been approved for use.  I'm no veterinarian, but wouldn't putting less food in the bowl work just as well.

HUMAN CONDITION:

An Australian zoo has put a group of humans on display to raise awareness about primate conservation.  Meanwhile, the gorillas next door were saying, "Whew. Glad we didn't evolve into that."

FIGHTING:

How can we stop the fighting in Iraq when we can't even stop the fighting between Rosie O'donnell and Donald Trump.  I am surprised at Trump for feuding so publicly with Rosie, seeing how he is so publicity shy.

President Bush announced his new plan for Iraq; the only good news from it is that he has created 20,000 new jobs.
 
LAZINESS:
Just one week after Congress returned to work, they took the day off to watch the BCS football game.  My problem with this -- is that the game started at 8:30pm.

FAILURE:

An attempt by 331 "empowerment" schools in New York to engage in standardized testing has been disrupted by more than 10,000 erroneous tests.  Here's a switch -- now the tests are failing the students.
 
HEALTH:
The Heart Attack Grill in Tempe, Arizona, has wheelchairs to cart off customers who tackle the Quadruple Bypass Burger, which has four slabs of beef, three layers of cheese and 8,000 calories.  I can hear Americans ordering it now: Yeah, I'll have a number four, super-sized, and a diet coke, please.

BRITISH TREND:
The British are eating canned baked beans at an unprecedented rate.  The consumer trend company, Mintel, reports the value of baked beans market hit almost $550 million last year, a 13 percent increase over 2001.  It sounds like that dog Duke found a buyer for the Bush family recipe.

PROOF OF GOD:

A British electrician was defibrillated and brought back from the dead a staggering 31 times in less than an hour.  I think this proves that there must be a God, or at least he thinks so.


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Proper 29(34)
Sundays after Pentecost

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