|
Current News Humor
|
NEW AT FUNNYSERMONS.COM. WE ARE OFFERING ILLUSTRATIONS AND QUOTATIONS OF THE NON-HUMOROUS TYPE (HYPERLINKED IN RED) FOR REGISTERED MEMBERS.
Humor is a proof of faith. -- Charles M. Schulz
Lectionary Passages for February 11th, 2007
Sixth Sunday After Epiphany, Year C
Jeremiah 17:5-10 Theme: trust ; trust
Theme one-liner: trust
Wisdom from the Lord 5 This is what the Lord says:
“Cursed are those who
put their trust in mere humans,
who rely on human strength
and
turn their hearts away from the Lord.
6 They are like stunted shrubs in the
desert,
with no hope for the future.
They will live in the barren
wilderness,
in an uninhabited salty land.
7 “But blessed are those who trust in
the Lord
and have made
the Lord their hope and
confidence.
8 They are like trees
planted along a riverbank,
with roots that reach deep into the
water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long
months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop
producing fruit.
9 “The human heart is the most
deceitful of all things,
and desperately wicked.
Who really
knows how bad it is?
10 But I, the
Lord, search all
hearts
and examine secret motives.
I give all people their due
rewards,
according to what their actions deserve .”
|
Psalm 1 Theme: joy ; protection
Theme one-liner: joy ; protect
Psalm 1
Book One (Psalms 1–41) 1 Oh, the joys of those who do not
follow the
advice of the wicked,
or stand around with sinners,
or join in
with mockers .
2 But they delight in
the law of the Lord,
meditating on it day and
night.
3 They are like trees planted
along the riverbank,
bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves
never wither,
and they prosper in all they do.
4 But not the wicked!
They
are like worthless chaff, scattered by the wind.
5 They will be condemned at the time of
judgment .
Sinners will have no place among the godly.
6 For the Lord watches over the path of the
godly,
but the path of the wicked leads to destruction.
|
|
Luke 6:17-26 Theme: fleeting
Theme one-liner: rare
Crowds Follow Jesus 17 When they
came down from the mountain, the disciples stood with Jesus on a large, level
area, surrounded by many of his followers and by the crowds. There were people
from all over Judea and from Jerusalem and from as far north as the seacoasts of
Tyre and Sidon. 18 They had come to hear
him and to be healed of their diseases; and those troubled by evil spirits were healed.
19 Everyone tried to touch him, because
healing power went out from him, and he healed everyone.
The Beatitudes 20 Then Jesus
turned to his disciples and said,
“God blesses you who are poor,
for the Kingdom of
God is yours.
21 God
blesses you who are hungry now,
for you will be
satisfied.
God blesses you who weep
now,
for in due time you will laugh.
22 What blessings await you when
people hate you and exclude you and mock you and curse you as evil because you
follow the Son of Man. 23 When
that happens, be happy! Yes, leap for joy! For a great reward awaits you in
heaven. And remember, their ancestors treated the ancient prophets that same
way.
Sorrows Foretold 24 “What
sorrow awaits you who are rich,
for you have your only
happiness now.
25 What
sorrow awaits you who are fat and prosperous now,
for a time
of awful hunger awaits you.
What sorrow awaits you who laugh
now,
for your laughing will turn to mourning and
sorrow .
26 What sorrow
awaits you who are praised by the crowds,
for their
ancestors also praised false prophets.
|
1 Corinthians
15:12-20 Theme: desire ; desire
Theme one-liner: want ; want
The Resurrection of the Dead 12
But tell me this—since we preach that Christ rose from the dead, why are some of
you saying there will be no resurrection of the dead? 13 For if there is no resurrection of the dead, then
Christ has not been raised either. 14 And
if Christ has not been raised, then all our preaching is useless, and your faith
is useless. 15 And we apostles would all
be lying about God—for we have said that God raised Christ from the grave. But
that can’t be true if there is no resurrection of the dead. 16 And if there is no resurrection of the dead, then
Christ has not been raised. 17 And if
Christ has not been raised, then your faith is useless and you are still guilty
of your sins. 18 In that case, all who
have died believing in Christ are lost! 19 And if our hope in Christ is only for this life, we
are more to be pitied than anyone in the world.
20 But in fact, Christ has been
raised from the dead. He is the first of a great harvest of all who have
died.
|
Holy Bible. New Living Translation copyright © 1996, 2004 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.
|
Current News Humor 
Quote this article on your site | Views: 360 | Print | E-mail
