Funny Sermon Starters
23 June 2010
Posted in
Week Of June 21, 2010
2 Kings 2:1-2, 6-14
Verse 1: When the Lord was about to take Elijah up to heaven in a whirlwind...
Questions:
Describe heaven.
How is it different from earth?
Punchlines:
It will be too late for too many when they discover that heaven is an exclusive club.
Heaven is a lot better than mankind's world, but then again some days, hell can be a better place too.
Verse 6: But again Elisha replied, “As surely as the Lord lives and you yourself live, I will never leave you.”
Questions:
How should Christians live life?
What are we doing wrong?
Punchlines:
The people who quote 'Live and let live' usually have at least two bad habits.
You get out of life what you put into it minus taxes.
Verse 6: So they went on together.
Questions:
What church groups do you oversee?
What church groups do you enjoy attending?
Punchlines:
Our church is just like a family including the uncle nobody wants to talk about.
In our church, it is 'All for one' unless something needs to be done.
Verse 8: The river divided, and the two of them went across on dry ground!
Questions:
Do you fish in local rivers?
What about your children?
Punchlines:
He must have learned that trick from Moses.
I'm not saying our river (name) is polluted, but I think I caught a fish with an extra eye.
Verse 10: “You have asked a difficult thing,” Elijah replied.
Questions:
What was the hardest question an atheist or a non-believer asked you?
How did you respond?
Punchlines:
One of the most common questions non-church people ask me, “Prove that there is a God?” I usually answer, “Prove that there isn't?”
You can question my sermons, but never question the book it comes from.
Verse 11: As they were walking along and talking, suddenly a chariot of fire appeared, drawn by horses of fire.
Questions:
Have you read 'Chariots of Fire?'
How can you explain this unusual passage?
Punchlines:
Yeah, that's where the tittle of the book comes from.
You are going to have to take this passage on faith.
