12 January 2010
Posted in
Funny Sermon Starters -
Week Of January 11th
Verse 1: I cannot remain silent.
Questions:
What do you need to tell your congregation?
Anything good?
Punchlines:
Christians are the silent majority and if we remain silent we won’t be in the majority.
If we shouldn’t discuss religion and politics, why stop at politics?
Verse 2: World leaders will be blinded by your glory.
Questions:
Who is your favorite world leader?
Who is trouble?
Punchlines:
It’s not if I’m on God’s side; it’s more if God is on my side.
That world leader (name) is in power is proof enough that there aren’t free elections.
Verse 2: by the Lord’s own mouth.
Questions:
What do you love talking about?
When did you have a slip of the tongue?
Punchlines:
And you think I talk too much during sermons.
Even Joe Biden wouldn’t make that slip.
Verse 4: or The Desolate Land.
Questions:
What is unique about your community?
What are the problems?
Punchlines:
I can’t think of anything as desolate as our downtown (name.)
When it comes to church (name) too many think it is a great place to visit but they wouldn’t want to stay there.
Verse 5: as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride.
Questions:
What was your best wedding?
Why?
Punchlines:
And we’re not just talking about that first night.
Many brides today seem to purchase lower-priced wedding dresses. They tell me: Why spend a lot of money on a dress you are only going to wear three or so times?
