21 July 2010
Posted in Funny Sermon Starters - Week Of July 19, 2010

Read Verse

Verse 1:  You restored the fortunes of Israel.

Questions:
How are you fortunate?
List.

Punchlines:
Why do so many Americans count their blessings with dollar bills?
The biggest problem with money is that it can get you things.

Verse 2:  You forgave the guilt of your people...

Questions:
What person is easy to forgive?
Why?

Punchlines:
It's always easier to forgive that rich uncle.
They say to 'forgive and forget.'  To do one is difficult and to do both – impossible.

Verse 3:  You held back your fury...

Questions:
Do you know any angry Christians?
What things are they mad about?

Punchlines:
An angry Christian is an oxymoron.
I once knew a Christian who would get angry twice a year - but each lasted for six months.

Verse 7:  Show us your unfailing love, O Lord...

Questions:
List some examples of Christian love.
Tell about a church member's unfailing love toward his neighbor.

Punchlines:
If love is blind, why can't we be more loving toward our neighbors?
Jesus said  to love your enemies and neighbors, which isn't so hard considering they're usually the same people.

Verse 8:  But let them not return to their foolish ways.

Questions:
What foolish mistakes have you made recently?
Why?

Punchlines:
Foolish as an atheist with a college degree.
If ignorance is bliss, more non-Christians should be happy.

Verse 11:  Truth springs up from the earth...

Questions:
How is Jesus the way?
What would the world be like if we all lived by his principles?

Punchlines:
In this passage, 'truth springs up from the earth' and over the last few months so did some oil.
Truth may spring up from the earth - but not from the mouths of men.

 

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