Search

1. (registered members only)
   Psalm 139:1-6, 13-18

   (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of August 30, 2010)

   ... you explain dieing and going to Heaven to people? Punchlines: Going to Heaven is easy...no baggage to check. Getting to Heaven is easy; getting into Heaven is the hard part. Verse 6:  ...too great for ...

2. Indoors / Outdoors

   (Illustrations/Creation)

   ... Indoors, he thought of a world of “getting and spending” where people “lay waste their powers.”  Outdoors, his spirit was renewed by the sight of a “host of golden daffodils.”  Indoors, he was bound by ...

3. (registered members only)
   Jeremiah 2:4-13

   (RCL Anecdotal Plugins/Week Of August 23, 2010)

   ... grace.  As he was about to pray, he says to himself... Punchline: Boy:  I'm not sure how I'm going to explain this one to God. Plugins: A young boy kept forgetting to say his nightly prayers, knowing ...

4. (registered members only)
   Psalm 81:1, 10-16

   (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of August 23, 2010)

   ... his foes, but from what I see, some of them are getting a hand-up. My wife knows how I can punish my enemies.  Cook for them.  ...

5. (registered members only)
   Longer Ones are Better

   (Sermon Fillers/Prayer)

   ... asked them by others, or wondered about what it was in particular that made prayer powerful, eff ective, and meaningful. We are a people who pray….there is no getting around the fact that in the good ...

6. Blessing when they Push You Toward Higher Goals

   (Sermon Fillers/Failure)

   Failures are a blessing when they push you toward higher goals. Paul stated in Philippians 3:13-14, “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have arrived. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind ...

7. Jeremiah 1:4-10

   (RCL Anecdotal Plugins/Week Of August 16, 2010)

   ... Well, I'd love to see you do it again. Plugins: George was bragging in the pulpit about his financial accomplishments to the point of getting the congregation irritated.  When he finally stopped, the ...

8. (registered members only)
   Christ can Come at Anytime

   (Sermon Fillers/Coming of Christ)

   A young lady busied herself getting ready for a blind date. This was not just dinner and a movie; her date had planned dinner at an exclusive downtown restaurant with live music and dancing. Wanting ...

9. Hebrews 11:1-3, 8-16

   (Sermon Starters/Week Of August 2, 2010)

   ... bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, ...

10. Psalm 50:1-8, 22-23

    (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of August 2, 2010)

    ... names? Is your memory getting worse? Punchlines: Never forget your baptism message...and the babies' name. I'm at the age where I need to purchase Post-It-Notes.    ...

11. Who Cares!

    (Anecdotes/Medications)

    ... “Now, I’m going to see Johnny again next month but, meanwhile, you will need some help getting through this difficulty. I’m going to give you these tranquilizers to take three times a day, and I’ll see ...

12. A Lemon

    (Illustrations/Possession)

    Who wouldn't like to own a Jaguar XJS convertible? In many people's eyes, a snazzy Jaguar is something they dream for a lifetime about getting and for which they are willing to pay the steep price ...

13. Hosea 1:2-10

    (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of July 19, 2010)

    ... marry a prostitute... Questions: When did you marry a couple that you felt would become divorced? What made you think that? Punchlines: Half of all marriages fail and I'm getting good at picking them. ...

14. (registered members only)
    Colossians 2:6-15, 16-19

    (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of July 19, 2010)

    ... Jesus is the only boss I never got into a fight with. Verse 13:  You were dead... Questions: Have you noticed more of your friends dieing? Is it because you are getting older? Punchlines: The great ...

15. (registered members only)
    This is Not all the Truth

    (Sermon Fillers/Acceptance)

    ... by eager evangelists bent on getting results. Like the salesman who talks up the good points of his product and conceals its disadvantages, the badly informed soul winner stresses the positive side of ...

16. (registered members only)
    Luke 10:38-42

    (RCL Anecdotal Plugins/Week Of July 12, 2010)

    Read Verse Anecdote A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.  The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting ...

17. (registered members only)
    Psalm 82

    (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of July 5, 2010)

    ... else knows more about their sins? Verse 3:  ...give justice to the poor and the orphan... Questions: What is wrong with our justice system? Can you think of any personal examples? Punchlines: Getting ...

18. 2 Kings 5:1-14

    (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of June 28, 2010)

    ...  Verse 12:  So Naaman turned and went away in a rage. Questions: Do you regret getting angry? Why are people so angry today? Punchlines: Anger has to be a sin.  Because Paul said so and because it never ...

19. (registered members only)
    In The Head

    (One Liners/Soccer)

    A sport where the players actually enjoy getting hit in the head by a ball.  ...

20. 2 Kings 2:1-2, 6-14

    (Sermon Starters/Week Of June 21, 2010)

    ... for the heathen in Africa; God loves naughty boys.”  I thought, "He is getting all mixed up," for you see I had heard people say, "If you are good God will love you." But, dear friends, that is not true. ...