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1. Jeremiah 18:1-11

   (Sermon Starters/Week Of August 30, 2010)

   ... they managed to capture and take home. Securing some plain, wooden birdcages, they put one of the linnets in each and hung them on either side of a canary. They explained to their mother that they hoped ...

2. (registered members only)
   Philemon 1:1-21

   (Sermon Starters/Week Of August 30, 2010)

   ... to be kind to Brown's fans (football team that your  town opposes.) Anecdote A young mother was too busy to visit her elderly neighbor, who was ill. She said to her small son, "Tommy, run over and ...

3. (registered members only)
   Psalm 139:1-6, 13-18

   (RCL Anecdotal Plugins/Week Of August 30, 2010)

   ... ribs.  A few days later he told his mother: “My side hurts.  I think I'm having a wife.” Plugins: A woman's libber was talking to a priest telling him how women are much more superior to men, according ...

4. (registered members only)
   Psalm 139:1-6, 13-18

   (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of August 30, 2010)

   ... fat? Verse 13:  ...and knit me together in my mother's womb. Questions: When did you first find out that your wife was pregnant? What was your reaction? Punchlines: Even atheists know there is a God ...

5. (registered members only)
   Luke 14:25-33

   (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of August 30, 2010)

   Read Verse Verse 26:  If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison – your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters... Questions: How are families changing? ...

6. Psalm 81:1, 10-16

   (Sermon Starters/Week Of August 23, 2010)

   ... time for the first quarter report card. The boy walked in with his report card - unopened - laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it, and to her amazement, ...

7. (registered members only)
   Luke 14:1, 7-14

   (RCL Anecdotal Plugins/Week Of August 23, 2010)

   Luke 14:1, 7-14 Anecdote My grandson found a quarter in the driveway as the family left for church.  When they returned home, he pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to his mother. “You can have ...

8. Hebrews 13:1-8, 15-16

   (RCL Anecdotal Plugins/Week Of August 23, 2010)

   ... buzzing noise.  As it darted between them, the mother let out a startled scream. Astonished more by her scream than by the beetle, the youngest daughter cried out, “For heaven's sake, Mom!” The mother ...

9. Back To School

   (One Liners/School)

   Well, here it is late August again - when millions of kids go back to school.  A time of year when kids start to learn again and mothers start to live again.  ...

10. Where Did You Meet God?

    (Illustrations/Finding God)

    A story is told where a mother had a different way of asking the same question: “How was your day?” As she tucks her children into bed each night, she asks them this question: “Where did you meet God ...

11. Psalm 80:1-2, 8-19

    (Sermon Starters/Week Of August 9, 2010)

    ... party kind-drinking, wife swapping, gambling, all the other things that go with it. The boy said to his mother, "I just called to tell you that I wanted to bring a buddy home with me." His mother said, ...

12. Isaiah 5:1-7

    (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of August 9, 2010)

    ...  Questions: When did you have to wait? How did it make you feel? Punchlines: The longest wait a mother has is during...labor. A long wait is the first five minutes into a sermon. Verse 5:  I will tear ...

13. Psalm 50:1-8, 22-23

    (RCL Anecdotal Plugins/Week Of August 2, 2010)

    Psalm 50:1-8, 22-23 Anecdote “What am I supposed to do?” a young man looking to get married asked his friend.  “Every woman I bring home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like.” “Oh, that's easy,” ...

14. Isaiah 1:1, 10-20

    (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of August 2, 2010)

    ... What irritates you? Punchlines: I know a person with cancer and he told me that if you feel sick and tired, try chemotherapy. You know what irritates me?  Stubbing my toe and watching Bill Maher. Verse ...

15. Coincidence?

    (Illustrations/Offering)

    ... to the kitchen and made an announcement to her mother. “Mom,” she said hesitantly, “you know all the money I've been saving?” “Yes, dear,” smiled my wife, Diane. “God told me to give it to the poor people.” ...

16. Who Cares!

    (Anecdotes/Medications)

    A mother took her son to a child psychiatrist. The mother was having all sorts of problems trying to make his growing up situation more tolerable. After seeing the boy, the doctor said to the mother, ...

17. Colossians 3:1-11

    (Sermon Starters/Week Of July 26, 2010)

    ... thought this was a rather unusual name, but went ahead with the ritual, saying, "Spindonna, I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." The father became furious and the mother burst ...

18. Colossians 3:1-11

    (Funny Sermon Starters/Week Of July 26, 2010)

    ... behavior, slander, and dirty language. Questions: Who do you know that has a tendency to cuss? Why do you think he does that? Punchlines: He cusses so much he could be a rap singer. My mother had a way ...

19. (registered members only)
    The Flower

    (Illustrations/Grandparents)

    ... he was going to do with it.  The little boy, who was probably less than 10 years old, looked up at me and said, “Sir, I'm going to give it to my granny.  My mother and father got divorced last year.  I ...

20. Hosea 1:2-10

    (RCL Anecdotal Plugins/Week Of July 19, 2010)

    Read Verse Anecdote A pastor's small son was told by his mother that he should wash his hands because there were germs living in all that dirt.  He refused and complained, “Germs and Jesus!  Germs and ...