Current News One-Liners
18 September 2009
Posted in
Sermons -
Current News One-Liners
The world’s oldest woman, Gertrude Barnes, has died at the age of 115. She reportedly loved to eat crispy bacon, fried chicken and ice cream. Just think how long she would have lived if she ate healthy.
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said on Tuesday that the Great Recession has likely ended…for the ones who still have jobs.
They are calling our current economy crisis the great recession. I think it should be called the great depression because that’s what happens when I look in my checkbook.
A baby boy born in Wisconsin arrived at 9:09 AM on 9/9/09 weighing nine pounds, nine ounces. Then the hospital staff immediately went out and bought lottery tickets.
Kanye West apologized for interrupting Taylor Swift at the Video Music Awards and says that he needs time for reflection. And how about attending a few church services.
A Chinese woman broke the world record for paying $582,135 for a dog. With that price tag it better be able to cook, clean and do dishes.
It has been reported that Michael Vick has been busy studying the Philadelphia Eagles new playbook. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks?
The guy who threw the shoe at President George W. Bush was released after serving nine months. He reportedly said that he was tortured – they made him wear shoes and socks.
A report that just came out says people who snore statistically die sooner…especially if you do it during one of my sermons.
